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Mon. 01/20/03 11:52pm
today was blah. I woke up and ended up making some really good breakfast/lunch for me and derrick and tiffy and then later ash too. It consisted of fruit salad (pears, peaches, blueberries, apples, mandarin oranges and kiwis) and then these really yummy sandwhiches on rolls with cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, this good mustard/mayo/ranch sauce and grilled ham. YUMMMY! Then i called Neil and ended up taking him and Kenji out to Burger King after much debate as to where to go. Then we went and crashed at my house, because ever since i picked up the boys at their house, Neil had been freezing. The entire way to lunch we had the heat at 80 degrees and i was roasting ans he was freeing. NOT A GOOD SIGN. And then after we went grocery shopping (Kenji, Neil me and Tiff) i took the boys home and went home to do stuff. Well my boy took a nap and his temperature, and he had a 101 degree fever, so i was gonna make him sleep, but he wanted to see me. So his family, went out to dinner with his cousins and aunt and uncle, andi came over and make him tea and chicken noodle soup for dinner and ate my dinner, fruit salad and reg. salad and burrito. We cuddled and i make him snuggle under covers so taht he could burn his fever off. And in the process pumped him full of orange juice and fluids. Then i did my hw while he watched hot rods and japanese car races and then played video games. I also got a recipe for stinky doggies who have been sprayed by skunks, which should hopefully make sadie un-smelly. Mommy also called me and told me there was something wrong with her Cutco order and she got a turning fork that she didn't want and didn't get the petite chef knife that she did want. Then I was suppose to call back sarah, who was busy, my boss Joe who i am ignoring because they want me to come in and check inand the i needed to call back my aunt and ny grandma too. there jusst aren't e nough hours in the day to accomplish everything, as shown by how often i update this. Then there was the whole business about me doing my laundry which will end up taking 5 loads, but then again i haven't done it since christmas sooooo ya know :) There is also the problem of....should i go to Hawaii with Neil and his family over summer break, and what should i get him for Valentine's Day, and yeah. the boy is a real sweetie. The other day he went out with Helen, his friend Travis's gf, and she was saying how they (her and Travis) are having issues because he never shows affection for her, how she always has to call him so forth and so on. Anyhow later he shows up at the door with a gorgeous bouquet of red roses for me w/ baby's breathe and ared bow and everything. Then he proceeds to take me out the Frankie, Johnny and Luigie's for dinner followed by a trip to the bookstore and then i had to rush home and go to a group meeting for work, but he's an absolute angel. I love Him! Anyhow it's late and i'm tired and there are two screens and two sets of words. G'night!

12/02/01 5:15pm
I hurt. I feel like my eyes have dried up and that no more tears can flow. My nose runs like a river and my heart is dead. It beats but that's about it, and it cries. It cries the river of ters that my eyes cannot. It cries for all the things that I have lost. For the loss of great friend, for the loss of the loving relationship that i once shared with someone close. It doesn't understand this bitterness that is eating it alive, this hatred for someone so perfect that it seems like everyone must obey her every command. I feel like i am inferior, that i fade in the light of her glory, that a shadow follows me, to hide me in it's dark depths, but most of all i do not feel anything. I don't feel the sadness anymore, and the feelings that i should have, have turned to nothing. I am numb. No longer does my heart yearn, for that which i have given up for lost, but it beats. It beats so that I may live to move on. To find another to replace that whichi have given up for gone. TO create a friendship anew, from the ashes of the old. But above all, i feel cold. I feel the part of the fridgid bitch. Angry because she is everything i am not. I am the evil stepmother and she is snow white. I havethe urge to send the hunter after her so that i may reign supreme, so that i many be the perfect one. And that is cruel, it's heartless, but it's what my heart would feel if it could. Does this make me a bad person? Does this make me cruel and evil and selfish? Because if so, I don't think i would apologize. THis is what i feel this is who i am, and it's someone that i am not proud of but it is who i am. And i would apologize if i felt i needed to, but this is me, and who i am, and if you do't like it, well.... i've always been this way. So hate me, curse me, but banish me if you must, because otherwise i will stay as this. This unhappy, bitter person, jealous of everything i do not possess.

Wed. 11/20/02 6:46 pm

What Is Your True Aura Colour?
brought to you by Quizilla sounds good to me!! I like to be childish Yippeeeeeee, kids are sooo innocent, hehehe
Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla okay sooo i can see how the first part of the paragraph is well done, and maybe once or twice i've thought about the second hapf, but it's not really that accurate....or is it? Just kidding :)
How Emotional Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla It says that i am balance, i think it's way off and i'm sure the ppl around me would be able to vouch for that, sorry you guys, Neil especially, baby i love you!
What Type Of Anime Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla This os exceptable, the other one said i was a Gay Boy!!! That's offensive, and i retook it, ewwwwy

*clever*
What fuzzy creature are you?

Wed 11/20/02 6:14pm
Okay, so for those of you who want to know, me and Neil had a date night on Friday, last week. Me and him went to San Francisco, which is a really big thing for him because he hates the city and he hates anything to do with going to the city, especially China town and the inner city i guess you could call it. So anyhow we went to this place that he knew of on the pier, it was really nice, with candles and a view of the bay, or rather a view of a bunch of shipping boats and a little actual water, but it was still really nice. So we sit down and he has to go to the little boy's room right, so i decide to have some bread. Like hunk o bread, so i'm like ok, i can do this, so i get the knife and start sawing at the bread. Well i get to the point where i figure that i can rip it off and eat it, sooooo i grab the bread and pull. BIIIIG mistake. My right elbow knocks over my water which in turn spills off the table and onto my purse and then onto my jacket. Wellll, go me. So when Neil comes back there i am chucking ice cubes off the table into the dark abyss below. Yeah me. He thought it was funny of course the little bugger. I guess that's what boyfriends are for. And then when the dinner comes, I got shrip, scallops and mussels in angel hair pasta, i proceed to slurp up the noodles which try their darndest to go up my nose, lovely mental images right? So then we leave the restaurant, which was probably the nicest one we've ever been too, and i go outside and freeze my ass off. it's San Francisco and i'm in kick ass shoes a dress and a peacoat, Thank You Tiffany for the advice on what to wear. Then we went to the Cheesecake Factory for dessert, after paying an obscene amount of $12 for parking, grrrrrr to them. And then it took us an hour to find the union square, i guess that's what happens when someone who isn't aggressive drives :) Well we finally found it by a stroke of luck and yipeee we got to have some of the very best cheesecake. i got the machadania white chocolate and neil got the german chocolate cheesecake and a mocha, boy was he sugared out! Then we went home and just hung around and it was nice. Oh, but one of the very best parts was the guys there, like once said "ohhhhhhh, pretty girl" and then criticized Neil's parking job (he was like 3 ft from the curb) and the other was this mexican guy who walked by and makes kissy faces and then said, "I bet i'm a better kisser than him" and winked. Crazy SF people. Oh and apparently i'm a acrazy physco driver, hehehe, ain't that the truth! T

Wed. 11/13/02 9:26am
hola little peoples, soo okay i don't know how long this thing will last and i can't make any promises to how well i'll keep this thing updated, but what the hell i'll give it a whirl, sooooo look out world here i come!!

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